Tetherball mentality and beliefs

 

Recently I have been suffering from a groin strain from trying to pull start a lawn mower that didn't want to start. Pulling and tugging on that string on an ever resistant growing machine I had to lean on the husband and scream that we need a new machine this one is finished.

He reminded me that it used to have a push start but I broke it. Mind you years ago.

Humans are awful where we keep injuring ourselves and others with a story.

The pain never goes away. It keeps repeating itself.

Angry, knowing that I got hurt from trying to start the machine I knew it was going to be a long haul.

I felt the tug. I felt the shoulder, ribs and spine yell that misery was on the way.

He started the machine, after several yanks and I was off.

Mad, frustrated and happy to cut the lawn for close to 3 hours.

Disappearing to the sound and walking 5 miles on a one acre lot of land.

I punched.  I spun and now idle against a cemented pole.

I attended a 3 day virtual conference that challenged 

my beliefs and what my business could look like in this new world. 

What problem do I solve?

This put me into a new challenge.

I do fitness. Yes.

I do coaching. Yes

I do spiritual. Yes

I do movement. Yes

I teach. Yes

But what problem do I solve that wakes people at 3 AM?

I punched. I spun and again sit idle against a cemented pole.

In the meantime on a hurt body, hurt spirit and hurt emotions

I tried to disappear into a 21 mile bike ride.

I tried to disappear into 18 holes of golf

I tried to disappear into tears

I tried to disappear into rest

I punched. I spun and again sit idle against a cemented pole.

I woke at 3AM.

Tetherball came to me.

I can punch the ball all I want.

If I want to move I have to break the cemented belief.

A groin strain (misery) pulls on your hip, spine, neck knee and foot (company)

As my body welcomed more misery I was cementing.

The stories, the blame, the anger.

I approached the lawn mower with a story.

I could have called for help sooner but pride got in the way.

As I decided to let the story go and realize I was upset for I got hurt

and kept hurting myself by proving I could do more.

I realized I am the ball.

I can punch it all I want and 

all I will do is

go round and round

until I drop the cemented belief and

be free. 

Since then, my neck has softened, 

my hip has been chirping a little popping of openness

the foot is more stable. 

As I get ready for some gentle yoga on my porch

I am the pole

of healthy beliefs

and I will stand this pole 

in healthy soil

and cut the ball when necessary.

PS:  My husband bought and assembled a new battery to push start the lawn mower.

We have been married 32 years.